Three-wheelin’!

Since making Ed’s acquaintance, I have watched a lot of Top Gear. I am no hobbyist mechanic, but I do love the aesthetics of high-end cars.

And other things…

I’ve seen this segment several times, and just about choke with laughter every time. Enjoy. 🙂

In honour of this auspicious occasion…

A dramatic vignette!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail came out in 1975, so it, and, as of today, I, are 37 years old. So needless to say, I had to do it. 🙂

King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I’m 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I’m 37. I’m not old.
King Arthur: Well I can’t just call you “man”.
Dennis: Well you could say “Dennis”.
King Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn’t bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the “old woman”, but from behind you looked…
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you.
King Arthur: You don’t vote for kings.
Woman: Well how’d you become king then?
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Unphotographable

This is a picture I did not take of two little girls holding open a birthday card that plays the Hamster Dance, spinning and bopping around the living room in perfect imitations of the original internet-based dancing hamsters, even though they’d never seen the website and it is much, much older than they are.

This is also a picture I did not take of my brother, walking down the yard towards the bush, in his left hand a .22 rifle, and on the right holding hands with his two-year-old daughter, in blonde pigtails and a pink sundress.

People of Walmart ain’t got nothin’ on us. 🙂

Unphotographable

This is a picture I did not take of the sign out front of the Kitchener Church of God, advertising for their annual Jerk Fest. Fortunately, the last line clarified that there would be LOTS TO EAT. 🙂

(I would have taken a picture but the light changed.)

Werewolves on ice!

Sherry and I went to see Chris Moore this evening, and holy crap, was that ever fun. The man is hysterical. (Jan and Rob joined us as well.)

I has a happy, cuz Waterloo’s only one of four stops he’s making in Canadia on the tour for Bite Me, and it looks like we were the last stop.

I personally found the Q&A a tad vexing, because of the audience, though, not the author. Upwards of half the questions asked were stuff from his website’s FAQ. OH HAI fans. Granted, I’m sure he’s been asked the same questions a gazillion times.

Whether inquiring about the “guy in a boat with a funny hat and a bunch of monkeys” on our $20 bill, or telling a multi-part story about Neuticles, it was all gloriously irreverent and entertaining. And blasphemous, of course, cuz… look who the star of the show is.

Which brings me to the venue, which was, in its own way, perfect. A United church, with an enormous stained glass window of long, tall zombie (green!) Jesus and his effeminate yet menacing sword-wielding companions. And the posterboard for Bite Me standing on the communion table. Splendid. 🙂

Zombie Jesus and Chris Moore

If you believe in transubstantiation, this is fitting...

The crack about the altar cloth being there to tie yourself down to prevent you from getting raptured mid-sentence was gold. Of course, while he feigned religious ignorance, given that he wrote Lamb, I’m pretty sure he could have out-scriptured us all any day of the week.

And really, it’s not like any of us could argue when he compared werewolves on a full moon to Canadians on ice playing hockey… (And I told him if he didn’t write that book, I would.)

A gloating photo

If you get a chance to see him do a reading (though he didn’t actually read from the book, which we’d all read already, anyway), definitely go.

(No idea why I didn’t bring my real camera, since I typically take it everywhere, but the iPhone photos will suffice.)

“The cheese is beautiful here!”

I was laughing so hard at this the guys at work demanded I share teh funnay. 🙂

*The subject line is what Gilles (topless guy) exclaims after Kimmel says he didn’t want to let foreigners into the Club. It’s extra awesome cuz it makes no sense. 🙂

Review of Legion

When Sherry, Melissa, and I went to see Legion, we were the only ones laughing in the theatre, as far as we could tell. And believe me, the movie is ludicrous.

That said, we all loved it. Hot Angel Bettany. Religious “interpretation”. Blowing shit up. Awww yeaaaah.

It was a bit problematic the following day when my brain switched back on and started asking questions about logic and plot. Blessedly, Sherry and Melissa set me right, for that way lies madness. (I’m still annoyed the movie poster lied about Hot Angel Bettany being shirtless in the film, though, and that there was no hawt Michael/Gabriel gayngel action.)

Anyway, Sherry found this gem of a review of the film, which sums up our sentiments exactly. Enjoy. 🙂