Some months ago, Erin told me a crazy story about a friend of hers who was working as an au pair in Amsterdam. It involved a dead dog and a suitcase.

Now, I’ve been on the internets for some time, so I probably should have twigged on to the fact that this story was just right to be… not quite right. But it was a great story, and I love a good yarn, especially when I can re-tell it. Which is what I’ve done since.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the salon, and ended up telling my stylist the story. (I don’t recall how we got onto that subject…) Of course, being a salon, there are plenty of ears around, and when I was done and up at the front paying, the girl helping me said, “I hear you have a dead dog in a suitcase story… That’s totally freaky, because I do, too.”

Then she told me her version, which involved her friend’s boyfriend, took place in Toronto, was on the TTC, and the dog was a German Shepherd.

In the version I heard, as I mentioned, it was Erin’s friend, took place in Amsterdam, was on a bus, and the dog was a Golden Retriever.

The Snopes-worthiness of the story became thoroughly apparent.

So I headed home and searched, but, oddly, couldn’t find the story. So I cast my net wider and googled “dead dog in a suitcase”. Ahh, pay dirt. Chicago, the UK — the story has been around for years, as expected.

I also found an entry that noted the Snopes version was about a cat, so I went back to Snopes, and sure enough, there was the story, just with different person, place, public transportation, and animal details.

And so, since I can no longer regale folks with the tale, I shall recount the version I’ve been telling, here, one last time. 🙂

Erin’s friend was working as an au pair for a family in Amsterdam, and they were going away on vacation. She was staying at home to water the plants, feed the dog, etc. However, before the family left, they did mention to her that the dog hadn’t been doing well, and, being quite aged, it was possible he could die pretty much any time. If that happened while they were away, don’t freak out or anything.

So off the family goes, and, sure enough, a few days later the dog dies. At which point the girl realizes that, while they did warn her it could happen, they didn’t tell her what the hell to do if it did. She finally manages to find the vet’s number and calls them. They tell her they can take care of the remains… but she has to bring them to the vet’s office. Hrm.

This is Amsterdam — she has no car, and she can’t exactly get the dog there on her bike, so she’ll have to take public transportation. But she can’t just get on a bus with a dead dog… So she goes hunting around the house and finds a big suitcase the family didn’t use for their vacation.

And she manages to get the dog in it (keep in mind this is not a Chihuahua, it’s 90lbs of dead weight Golden Retriever), and wrestle it to the bus stop. The bus arrives, and she’s wrestling the suitcase up the stairs, when a nice man appears and helps her get the suitcase onto the bus.

So she gets situated, and the guy’s all, “Wow, that’s really heavy. What’s in there?” And, thinking quickly, she replies, “Oh, just some old electronics equipment…” (Now, at this point, most people are assuming the suitcase is going to break open on the bus or something… but no…)

The bus arrives at her stop, and she starts wrestling the suitcase off the bus, and the nice man helps her again. And they get to the sidewalk… and the guy picks up the suitcase and takes off down the street.

She’s standing there, staring after him, wondering what the hell to do. She might be able to catch him, but… he kinda just solved her problem. She no longer has to dispose of the dog, and… wow, can you imagine his face when he opens that suitcase?

So she just goes home, and, when the family returns from vacation, tells them what happened (awkward!), and offers to pay for a new suitcase…

The End

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