Waterfall of suck

Today was one of those days when I should never have gotten out of bed, let alone left the apartment. (Though the infection of suck might have set in last night, when the inseam tore out of one of my favourite pairs of pants…)

And, of course, it was (supposed to be) a very busy day.

I started getting twinges of a headache before leaving for work, and by the time I got to the office it felt like someone was trying to poke out my left eye from inside my skull. It was also raining fairly heavily. Given that I was supposed to go to Toronto this afternoon, neither of these things boded well. The headache waxed and waned all day, and did a good job of sapping my energy.

Once at work, progress on some things I’ve been working on slowed to a crawl, which wasn’t good since progress on them had never been speedy to begin with. And then of course more things got added to my plate, so the day was dogged by that “behinder I get” feeling.

Then my Mom called. Long story short, I basically got guilted into giving up my Saturday to go to the funeral of someone I’ve never met. I understand where Mom was coming from on the whole “supporting the family) side of things, but I don’t necessarily share her feelings or sense of duty. (Neither do many of my other cousins, apparently, since it was the fact that few of them are planning to go, either, that spurred my mother to call me…)

Admittedly, I have been fortunate enough not to experience many deaths close to me, but really, as I see it at this point, it’s disingenuous to attend events out of little more than secondhand guilt. I also think it’s reasonable to expect attendance at any event, happy or sad, to diminish as the location moves further from home or a central area. Yes, I am aware that most of us have duty to attend to from time to time, but there were more issues here than just that.

So that took me to mid-morning, at which point, feeling like crap, I decided to cancel going to Toronto, and then felt bad because a) I wouldn’t get to see three friends I’d planned to see, b) two of whom I’ve never met in person before, and c) one of whom lives far away and it’s the first time he’s been north of the border in forever. But honestly, the way things were going I felt fairly certain that I’d have gotten into an accident or something equally unpleasant would have befallen me.

My day did take a tiny, wiggly turn for the awesome, though, when I received a gentleman caller at work. Srsly, may I never have an ailment that puppy smell can’t cure.

Shortly thereafter, after wolfing down a quick sandwich for lunch, I got to head over to my doctor’s office for my annual physical. (Told you this was an awesome day.) First the nurse weighed and measured me in full gear — clothes, boots, the works. So I am recorded as taller, heavier, and thicker than I actually am. I wouldn’t mind the taller, but my doctor noticed the change in my stats and was not pleased with the nurse, so I told her how many centimetres I normal chalk up (163). I mean, really, I haven’t grown since I was 10. Having my waist measured while I was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and a sweater pissed me off, though. But hey, my pulse and blood pressure are nice and low.

Anyway, I learned that I’ve gained weight, and have a small… female problem, so my day just kept rockin’ the hizzay.

Returned to the office and spent the rest of the day having ever diminishing returns on my efforts, and then a phone call I was supposed to get didn’t happen. (No big worries there, prolly tomorrow.) It was fairly dark already by 4:30, and pitch black by 5:40 when I left the office. I could see the moon, though, and it’s full, and quite lovely.

Shortly before leaving work, I talked to an old colleague, and found out more info about a company that laid off 90% of its staff today. (I’d heard about the layoff in the morning, but not what company it was.) Of course, since I work at a startup, have been laid off, and have worked for more than one unstable company, any time layoffs come up it makes me twitchy and depressed.

Then just before leaving the office I found out that my cousin’s plans have changed, so it’s likely I won’t have to go to the funeral, which is, potentially, a relief.

And now I am home, and going nowhere. I will catch up on tv shows from this week, sew sockmonkeys like the wind, and finish the shot of whiskey I poured for myself when I got home. And, having just finished eating, I now get to consume nothing but water until some time tomorrow, as I get to go for blood work in the morning. Fun!

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