You are a embarrassment to feline kind.
I gave you a box. A big box. A great cave of a box in which you could chill and spelunk and do whatever the hell it is cats do because they find boxen so goddamned fascinating.
But no. No box for you. Won’t even so much as sniff the great cavernous plaything taking up half the living room floor.
So you know what? I’m gonna recycle it.
That’s right. Rip it apart and break it down and shove it in the blue box where it will be taken away forever by sweaty, tanned men early on a Friday morning.
You could’ve had it all, man. A veritable feline theme park. But no, you weren’t interested.
It’s a good thing you live alone, buddy, and that you hate cats, because had your posse gotten word of this little debacle, you’d be stuck hangin’ out with the dogs from here on in.