I was okay. For 35 hours, I was okay.
Then my parents called tonight to see how my meeting this evening went (no good news), and how I was doing, and when we hung up they told me they loved me, and it was like my mind snapped in half.
Every mechanism, every defense I have — couldn’t reach any of it. And goddamn, if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s at least seeming like my shit is together.
When you know that what’s ahead of you is 100% difficult, grownup stuff, it really doesn’t make it any better to be paralyzed by sobbing your guts out like a little kid whose dog just died.