You’re very sweet. And quite good looking. But we need to talk. Something keeps coming up, and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. It’s the sockmonkeys, you see. Or, rather, everything but the sockmonkeys.
Yes, I get your links, and your suggestions. Yes, I see where you’re coming from. But… no. To all of it, no. So, once and for all…
- I make sockmonkeys. That’s all. Just sockmonkeys. Traditional ones. With button eyes and yarn mouths, from grey work socks. I like them like that.
- I don’t want to make sockmonkeys out of other kinds of socks. Or other fabrics. I think those striped/polka-dotted/argyle sockmonkeys are ugly. It screws up the character of their faces. Plus, most “funky” socks are made of synthetic fabrics. Nylon is not huggable.
- I don’t want to make other sock creatures (with the vaguely possible exception of the socktopus, which I have admitted). My sewing skills are not actually very good, and therefore do not lend themselves to making more difficult projects. And no, I really don’t care about becoming a master seamstress.
- I do not want to make costumes for the sockmonkeys. Or costumes involving sockmonkeys. Or anything that is not, specifically, a sockmonkey. Doesn’t interest me at all, and see previous comment re. “my sewing sucks”. Also? I do this all by hand. Every last stitch. The sockmonkeys themselves take quite sufficient amounts of my time to make. And no, I am not adding more reality tv shows to my schedule to facilitate more sockmonkey time.
- I make sockmonkeys because I want to. When I want to. How I want to. For whom I want to. I can’t bring myself to work on them when it’s not winter, for some reason. This means there’s no way I’ll ever sell them. Money = expectations. Expectations of style, quality, and delivery. Nuh uh. Control freak = me. Nobody’s ever gonna get a sockmonkey unless I say so. It ain’t about the fame and fortune, baby.
So there you have it. I’m sorry to have to be so blunt, but I hope we understand each other now.