I don’t sleep well with others. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I don’t, of course, mean sex, I mean REM. Doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman. A friend or a lover. I can get to the point, if I’ve slept with someone consistently over a fairly long period of time, that I can sleep decently. Decently means waking up maybe half a dozen times. Mostly if I’m in my own bed. If the other person gives me my space and doesn’t snore too loud. (Is there a man on earth who doesn’t snore?) If I’m in someone else’s bed, or there is a lot of ambient noise, or just about ANY other consideration… forget it. (Rare exceptions being a couple of occasions that I’ve fallen into a bed I’m sharing with a friend after a very late night that included a fair bit of drinking and the whole house just passes out simultaneously.) I’ll wake up at least every half hour, and be wide awake by 7 or 8am. It’s a bit different if I’m sleeping by myself in a decent bed in someone else’s house. I slept great at Dana’s. But that was an anomaly. Comfy bed, nice and quiet, and I knew where the bathroom was. 🙂

I never slept well with Andrew. I tried. He’s warm. He has nice sheets. He doesn’t snore much. I even bought my own pillows, since his were flat like pancakes. Granted, he then used them regularly, and his capacious cranium de-poofed them fairly thoroughly. And his bed is hard as a rock. And a queen-size bed is nice, but a queen-size bed with two adults and two dogs is kinda crowded (as warm as a subterranean crotch beagle is…). And between random sounds that wake up the dogs, and Paula coming home at 3am, and living on a fairly busy street, the unfamiliar noise didn’t help. You’d think from all this that I’m a very light sleeper, but I’m not. At least, not at home.

I slept over with someone last night for the first time since last June. It went about as well as I expected. It was funny, when Cody and I first started seeing each other, we talked about sleeping with people. He said the secret to sleeping with him was to not do what we were doing at the time – lying all tangled up together. I quite agreed. I’d die of heatstroke in minutes, plus my head has to be just so, and I cannot stand it if someone is breathing on me. I have a weird thing about breathing in someone else’s air.

So last night when we went to bed… lo and behold, guess who was wound around me like tree roots. And guess who repeated that performance several more times over the course of the night. Heh. Hypocrisy! The thing that really bothered me, though, was the water softener. It was in the next room over and kept going on and off all night. SO ANNOYING. (Though I’m sure Cody doesn’t even notice.) And he kept breathing on me. But in his defence, he was dead to the world at the time…

I guess I’ll know when I’ve met Prince Charming when I climb into bed, get my goodnight kiss, pass out immediately, and sleep like the dead til the smell of someone making me coffee and breakfast wakes me up. You have been notified, princes of the world. 🙂

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