My family tends to breed prolifically. From time to time, a set of twins is produced. Fortunately, the parents of these clones seem to retain their sense, and no egregious sins of naming have been committed. A couple pairs have names that start with the same first letter, but that’s about it.

Except today my mother told me that one of my cousins on her side had her twins on the 10th. Boys, identical. Named Wilson and Tilson. Right. I don’t know the surname of their father, but if it rhymes with those names, I am going to hunt down their parents and bitchslap both of them.

The only small relief in this situation is that a) being twins, the boys each have a brother, b) the boys were as big at birth as a typical single birth baby is, and c) their mother is an Amazon and her brothers are giants, and their father is quite tall, so when the name-calling starts at school, chances are that the smack? It will be laid down.

Still, thank God I’m adopted…

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