Righteous indignation courtesy of Dana…

My Freewill Astrology Horoscope for this week.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for you. What symbolic items might stimulate you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2006? The answer is: a lot of beautiful, comfortable shoes suitable for a variety of moods, from hiking to working to traveling to dancing. I recommend this dramatic upgrade in footwear because I think it would help drive home the single most important task you have ahead of you, which is to come all the way down to earth. This is the year you’ve got to become as well-grounded as you’ve ever dared to be.

Single most important task… coming all the way down to earth…

Riiiiiight. Because this year I haven’t been so much down to earth as FUCKING STAKED OUT ON IT SMEARED WITH HONEY WITH GODDAMNED FIRE ANTS COMING TO INVESTIGATE.

I’ll show you what to do with all my new shoes. Bend over…

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