Tonight my brother and I talked about After. Cleaning up the administrivia, storing the worldly possessions, managing the money, etc. And then. Away. He and Les still plan to go to Costa Rica, I believe in January, but it sounds like it’ll only be for a couple of weeks now. Les mentioned a package deal to somewhere, a three-star hotel, that he’d heard about for $500. That seemed to spark something. “I could go on, like… three of those!” Yes, you could. My brother is 32 and has never had a vacation. Sometimes I see the borders of his world as it must look from inside his head, and it’s so small.
Hell, if my karma points are worth anything, you’ll be able to go on as many of them as you want. Fly til the snow melts, then come home and buy a new motorcycle that doesn’t spend half the summer in the shop. Bikinis, umbrella drinks, salt water, cocoa butter.
I want to send him to Sydney. He wants to escape. To hide out for a while. Sydney is about as far away as you can get. A big buffer of space and time zones and weird dialing codes to separate you from people who randomly show up at your house or make the phone ring and ring. Baking weather, blue skies, amazing flora and fauna, great beer, fantastic people, awesome beaches, gorgeous women. I am not sure he’d ever come back. I didn’t want to. I might try. I might see how much he’ll take from me and send him as far as I can for as long as I can. His body and soul are going to take time to put back together again. He needs to be responsible for nothing and no one but himself. I will make sure he sends Mom at least one postcard so she doesn’t worry.
As for me? Everything fits in my head now. I realized that while I was washing out my paintbrush tonight. The rest of the work left to do fits in my head. My thoughts about work fit in my head. My thoughts about boys fit in my head. My thoughts about going back to school fit in my head. My thoughts about money fit in my head. Maybe my head has just gotten bigger. 🙂 What am I going to do with myself when no one needs me to take care of them? I might have to get some more pets… Heh.