When you are out and about, and you see a small child selling something (especially if it is after dark on a Friday night), if you have any cash on you at all, it is important to purchase whatever the child is selling. (Seriously – chocolate, cheese, bricks – buy it.) Because being a small child and having to sell stuff SUCKS. Besides, sometimes, like if you’re me, and it’s tonight, you’ll get a deal! And you will get a dollar off the purchase of two chocolate bars you don’t want to eat (because the chocolate bars are always terrible). And sometimes you will be entertained by a small child who bears a disturbing personality resemblance to the contestants on The Apprentice.

When you are sitting a dog who is both young and fond of toys, it is not surprising that he will find the toys belonging to the dog who lives in your house more interesting than his own. It is not surprising that he will spend the better part of an evening mauling a small, stuffed squeaker toy (dog-shaped) that does not belong to him. And so, when you are at the grocery store, you will buy another one of these toys (in a different colour), since it is likely the dog you are sitting will finish destroying the squeaker dog before he goes home, and this way the dog that lives at your house won’t be sans squeaker toy, of which he seems quite fond. However, Murphy’s Law of dogs dictates that when you remove the tags and offer the new toy to the dog you are sitting, he will not be interested in it at that time. But moments later, when the dog of the house comes downstairs and discovers the new toy, he will leap upon it like a starving hyena on an injured gazelle, and within minutes will have ripped off both ears and the tail and be gleefully mauling the thing while the other dog, for whom the toy was actually intended, realizes its Incredible Value, and grows ever more agitated that he cannot get his jaws around it. An hour or two of pacing, darting, nipping, snarling, stealing, chasing, and tug-of-war will pass. Eventually the dog of the house will go upstairs to sleep after the toy falls under the bed and neither dog can reach it, and after a few moments of appreciatively mauling the squeaker toy that you so kindly retrieved from under the bed, and which now has no ears, no tail, a snout that’s ripped open, and is so goobered up it could probably be wrung out, the dog you are sitting will pass out on the floor with the mangled squeaker toy by his feet. A fine investment of $5.

Also, it’s lame to get excited when you see the price of gas finally fall below 80 cents per litre…

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