I have been having fantasies. I don’t remember when that happened the last time. I think one of the catalysts was driving. Traditionally, long drives are times when my brain wanders. My imagination sinks its teeth into all kinds of things. I have had times when it’s gone into fantasyland and I’ve nearly driven off the road. Good times… 🙂 Today it wasn’t quite like that. It was good, though. Some anger. I have a little bit, honest. Whee! Fantasies are something I’m torn about right now. I am glad for them, in that, as I’ve said, it’s been a while. I like feeling naughty and dirty and inventive. However, I want to be naughty and dirty and inventive with someone. It’s been a REALLY long time since I have. I miss that. I’m good at it. But, not having a suitable partner (victim?), fantasies are a bit inconvenient. Yes, the basic itch can be scratched, but the real itch goes deeper. That requires a partner. That requires the exchange of power, and immediate response. It requires the senses. Ahh well, save it for later. It’s been saved this long.

One thing I am finding interesting and strange and sad and intriguing and whatnot is to what degree people I know have personalized my breakup. They relive their own breakups; they project their own issues, or want to know details that aren’t really any of their concern. Or, suddenly, I am qualified to offer up all kinds of advice, or share all kinds of commiserations. It’s interesting. However, it’s also at least something refreshingly different from all the people I know who’ve gotten engaged recently…

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